Look, sometimes sex gets messy.

Whether you’re a squirter, a fan of period sex, someone who enjoys sploshing, or you just like to use plenty of lube, there’s going to be some cleanup involved.

Your go-to is likely just putting down a towel or some of your least-nice bedsheets, but that’s not a particularly sexy option.

Few things feel less sensual than saying ‘hold on a min, I just need to stick this ratty towel down on the bed to soak up any fluids’.

Could a special waterproof blanket just for sex be the solution?

The people over at Yoni Pleasure Palace reckon so – so much so that they’ve launched a whole load of super-soft blankets in a bunch of colours for this exact purpose.

yoni pleasure palace splash blanket
It looks like a standard cosy blanket, but has a clever waterpoof middle to soak up fluids (Picture: Yoni Pleasure Palace)

Buy for £49 from Yoni Pleasure Palace

It’s made from 100% vegan polyester fleece and micro-velvet fabric, with a waterproof internal layer, rather than just a lining on the top – that means that rather than liquid pooling on the top, it soaks in and absorbs into the fleece. No more sleeping in the wet patch post-session.

Each rug can hold up to a litre of liquid, whether that’s bodily fluids, massage oils, or lubes.

‘Our leak-proof Splash Blankets™ – affectionately known ‘round here as Squirt Blankets™ – not only protect your bedsheets, expensive eco mattress, couch covers, carpet or carseats from your juicy gushes, they also give you peace of mind and ability to fully relax during intimacy and “let the flood gates open”,’ say the Yoni Pleasure Palace team.

yoni pleasure palace blanket
Take your pick from a bunch of colours (Picture: Yoni Pleasure Palace)

‘Our founder’s philosophy is simple: “The blanket is a psychological sex toy. When women feel more comfortable to let go during sex or self pleasure, they naturally become more orgasmic and sexually expressive!” – Rosie Rees.’

They recommend the blanket for regular sex and masturbation sessions (especially for squirters), for period sex, for sleeping when you’re on your period, as a post-partum recovery blanket, as a throw for your sofa, or as a cosy layer on your bed.

Bonus: it could also serve as a blanket for pets, bedwetting kids, and anyone with incontinence issues.

yoni pleasure palace sex blanket
(Picture: Yoni Pleasure Palace)

Whatever the need, if you’re after a cosy blanket that feels great and does the job of sapping up liquids, this is a great shout.

We know what you’re imagining – the word ‘waterproof’ prompts images of plasticky tarpaulins.

That’s not what these are. Instead, the Splash Blanket is designed to be super soft and cosy, and looks like a regular throw you can chuck on your sofa, bed, or comfy chair.

August 27, 2022 — Yusif Khalil